Struggle to Success: My Journey to Conceiving Naturally with PCOS!
December 26, 2021
My longing for motherhood began early in my life, and by the time I was a young adult, I yearned for the experience of nurturing a new life. But life, as it often does, had its own plans for me. My journey toward motherhood began with a painful reality check.
In the depths of my struggle to conceive, I felt like life had lost its meaning. The ache in my heart for a child was indescribable. I believed that one of the fundamental purposes of our existence is to bring new life into this world, and yet, it seemed so elusive. I was trapped in a whirlwind of despair, hope, and desperation, with no clear path ahead. I felt broken! Who would want to be with me if I couldn’t have children? Even though the doctors didn’t come out and say it, it was how I felt.
Maybe you can relate?
In 2009, my desperation led me to try an unconventional approach - the Depo Provera birth control shot💉. A friend had shared a story of how she became pregnant shortly after discontinuing its use, and my naive self believed that a shot or two would be all it took. I mean seriously?! Looking back as I write this blog I wanted a baby by any means necessary. It was an attempt to escape my then-boyfriend's prospects of fatherhood, but also to gain some weight and overcome the bullying I faced due to my slim physique. The dual purpose seemed like a win-win to me, at the time.
I received the first shot and then another, but as the reality of the situation set in, I questioned my choice. Fearful of the possibility of never conceiving, I decided to halt the Depo Provera regimen, what was I doing? I couldn't bear the thought of sacrificing my dream of motherhood.
In 2011, a new relationship bloomed🌺, and my desire to become a mother intensified. Conversations about parenthood wove their way into our discussions, sometimes with hesitations and uncertainties. He had children as well, so all the more reason I wanted to be able to give him babies too, I thought. But also in my heart, I knew that motherhood was my calling, and my purpose in life. I had once even joked about wanting a van because I envisioned a future with five kids. Then again was it a joke because I will still drive a van okay! Little did I know how arduous the path to even one child would be.
Our Love ❤️
Since the very beginning, I've been head over heels in love with my husband, and I've always wanted to have start a family with him.
2012 marked the onset of relentless, unexplainable bleeding🩸. It wasn't the typical week or month-long menstrual cycle; it was unrelenting. I bled continuously for a whole year. YIKES! No literally I kid you not!😶 Sounds hard to believe, right? The bleeding left me disheartened, and I consulted doctors every month, desperately seeking answers.
And then, in 2013, I received a diagnosis that I could never have anticipated - Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS)😳. I thought to myself WTF is this? “PCOS is a very common hormone problem for women of childbearing age. Women with PCOS may not ovulate, have high levels of androgens, and have many small cysts on the ovaries. PCOS can cause missed or irregular menstrual periods, excess hair growth, acne, infertility, and weight gain.” I mean it explained my facial hair which is another level of embarrassment😞. However, the doctors explained that PCOS typically affected overweight and diabetic women, neither of which applied to me. I weighed a mere 120 pounds, and my body had never known the burdens of diabetes. It was perplexing, both for me and the medical professionals.
Doctors presented me with a multitude of solutions - birth control, surgery, and even more birth control to stop the bleeding. But I couldn't bear the thought of sacrificing my body's potential to conceive. In my heart, I believed that I would be fine, though fear lingered in the background.
Throughout 2014, my periods remained elusive, and I was grappling with the reality of being irregular. It wasn't the journey I had envisioned👀, but it was my journey nonetheless. With each passing month, the odds of conceiving dwindled.
In 2015, I made a pivotal decision to explore alternatives. I delved into herbal remedies🌱, incorporating Vitex agnus castus (Chaste Berry), castor oil packs, red clover, maca root, and DIM (Diindolylmethane) into my routine. However, despite my unwavering commitment, the results remained elusive.
I had to face🫥 the harsh reality that my path to motherhood was far from traditional. In 2016, I transitioned to a vegan lifestyle and began incorporating black castor oil and regular exercise into my daily routine. Still, my irregular periods persisted, and my dream of motherhood seemed more distant than ever.
In 2017, my husband and I embarked on a new chapter in our lives by seeking the guidance of fertility specialists. Years earlier, I had undergone an HSG (Hysterosalpingography), a procedure I would strongly advise against due to its excruciating pain. Yet, in 2017, it seemed necessary to repeat the procedure.
Love by the Ocean
Standing by the ocean, the waves whispered love stories that echoed our own deep connection.
The initial attempt yielded no results, but it paved the way for further testing. The doctors discovered that I had a substantial reserve of eggs🪺 waiting to be fertilized. It was a glimmer of hope in an otherwise challenging journey✨.
The year 2018 brought the news we had been yearning for - we were pregnant! This time, we did not require IVF or intrauterine insemination. Instead, we followed a carefully prescribed plan that involved Provera and specific sex timing. We were elated, and the excitement of expecting a child permeated our lives.
Our joy knew no bounds. We celebrated our one-year anniversary with a memorable trip to watch the Set It Off play in Detroit, Michigan. It was a time of celebration and anticipation, as we eagerly awaited the arrival of our little one.
However, on April 24, 2018, a familiar sense of dread returned when I began to bleed🩸 once more. My heart raced with anxiety as I rushed to the restroom, the cramps intensifying with each step. I was sooo nervous that I decided to visit the emergency room where they confirmed our worst fear - a miscarriage.
Heartbreaking Moment💔
A fragile symbol of our lost hopes and dreams.
The emotional toll of losing our unborn child was indescribable. We were devastated and questioned whether we were forcing something that was not meant to be. Doubts plagued us as we navigated the complex emotions that accompanied this loss. Who am I, what did I do, why did this happen to me was all I could think about. Selfish because I could only think about how I felt, and not what he was feeling at all!
2019 brought a change of scenery as we decided to move away from Ohio, propelled by a multitude of reasons, including family dynamics and negative influences. It was a fresh start, and we were hopeful that it would bring positivity into our lives. Amid the changes, we considered revisiting the fertility clinic, but California's costs and bureaucratic hurdles made it a challenging endeavor.
As we settled into our new life, I discovered the power of positive thinking and intention through yoga. I committed to relaxation and mindfulness, surrendering my pain and focusing on self-love. My yoga practice became a sanctuary, allowing me to connect with myself and heal.
One particular yoga session in July 2019 left an indelible mark on my soul. As I meditated in Shavasana (Corpse Pose), I visualized the person I wanted to become and released my pain. During that session, I noticed a mother breastfeeding her baby nearby. My eyes welled up with tears as I silently celebrated her beautiful moment, secretly yearning for that same experience.
In July 2021, a chance encounter with a stranger would change the course of my journey. An older woman shared her secret - a set of pills that had helped countless women conceive naturally. I felt a glimmer of hope and, without hesitation, ordered the pills. It was July 19, 2021, when I began taking them consistently. In just a few weeks, I got my period, ending a months-long hiatus.
And then, the miracle happened. On September 7, 2021, the test
revealed what we had longed for - I was pregnant!
The sound of Journee's Strong heartbeat on
September 21, 2021, was music🎶 to our ears.
I share my journey not as a medical expert but as someone who has experienced the trials and triumphs of the quest for motherhood. My story is a testament to the power of belief, self-love, and unwavering determination. Your journey may be unique, but the destination is worth every obstacle you encounter.
To those who find themselves on a similar path, I encourage you to trust in your body and explore alternative solutions. These pills helped me and I trust they will help you as well:
Please note that I may receive a small commission for this affiliate link.
Your journey may not be conventional, but it can lead to extraordinary outcomes. Miracles happen, and I stand as living proof.
Feel free to reach out with your questions or to share your own blessings and struggles. I am here to support you as you embark on your unique journey to motherhood.
If you don’t believe me, believe in the pills, if the pictures don’t do it for you, Read the reviews!!!!!
